Forgiveness
by Falconcry
Summary: A story I wrote on request from my Gaia buddy, Ino Sanada Cloud's Geostigma surfaces one night, and Tifa is outraged he tried to hide it from her.


Night. Black as a raven's wing in glittering points of white light as it blanketed the skies over Midgar. The dusty moors outside the city slept fitfully, the wind howling off the crags and rocky outcroppings in an eerie, uncanny dissonance of sound. Midgar's streets were blotted out in blackness save for a few streetlights whose light huddled too close to the bulb to offer any real help to anyone traversing the streets. But the roads were devoid of life save for the occasional scamper in the alley shadows.

In an apartment close to the heart of the city, moonlight filtered through the window, casting its soft glow on a young woman with dark brunette hair who was softly breathing in and out in a rhythmic pattern. On a separate bed, another person slept, but not nearly as soundly. He twitched as pain racked his body, teeth clenched and eyes shut tightly as his face contorted and relaxed in torment. His left arm quivered involuntarily as the Geostigma lit up every nerve ending in his body with pain.

Unable to stay asleep any longer, his anguished light sky blue eyes flew open and a strangled cry escaped his throat. Breathing hard, he sat up and clutched his throbbing arm. He could feel the skin bubbling beneath the sleeve and knew that his flesh would soon begin to break and bleed blue-purple puss. Stealing a quick glance at Tifa before his pulsating arm arrested his attention again, he knew he had to get out of this house before the pain intensified and he would be rendered helpless and screaming.

He quickly stood up, but to his dismay pictures began to flash across his vision, many too fast for him to comprehend what they were. His arm muscles contracted under his grip, sending blue lightning bolts of pure fire up and down his body. Holding back a cry of pain, he rested his shoulder against the wall, his head swimming in a hazy fog. Yet somehow he found the resolve to open the door and step out into the hallway before the agony brought him down onto his knees. His senses were thrown into disarray as he gasped for breath through the pain.

His arm started bleeding, amounting to an excruciating zenith of torture. Powerless to support him any longer, his legs gave out and he crumpled into a dejected heap on the floor. Lights exploded behind his tightly closed eyes as he fitfully shuddered, coughing violently and sometimes bringing up blood. _No, not now! _Was the only coherent thought he could distinguish from the gathering darkness, but he could do nothing about it as he lay there, immobilized by his illness.

Through the tsunami of flashing red and blue haze, he made out a young, frightened face staring at him from a doorway. _Denzel, _he half formed the name in his mind before being pulled under again by the stigma, helpless to suppress a scream of torment as another seizure took hold. "Cloud!" Denzel shouted, his voice high-pitched with worry as he got down on his knees by his foster father's writhing form. Denzel shook his stigma-infected shoulder in desperation, unwittingly igniting another fresh wave of liquid fire through Cloud's nerves. "Please, what's wrong with you?" The boy pleaded with wide eyes, watching him flip himself onto his back and try to catch his breath, body bathed in warm sweat. But Cloud couldn't hear the boy calling his name, every sense drowned in a sea of sharp, metallic froth.

Tifa had heard the scream as well and jumped off her bed throwing the door to the hallway open; she was met by blue-purple blood smeared on both the walls and the floors, and it covered Cloud's left arm as he was curled up on the floor with Denzel trying to snap him out of it. Tifa gritted her teeth, as these were signs of Geostigma, and it looked pretty bad. "Denzel, get away from him." She ordered, placing a hand on Cloud's forehead. He was burning up and his pulse was racing.

"W-what's wrong with him, Tifa?" Denzel asked in a quavering voice from a few feet away. She didn't answer, but instead slapped Cloud lightly across the face in an effort to bring him back into focus.

Inside Cloud's shell of confusing lights and misery, a small shock jolted his attention elsewhere. He faintly registered someone breathing laboriously far away, and his name was being called. It sounded like Tifa… Slowly he opened his eyes, his mind pounding against the insides of his head with migraine force. The pain was still there, but it was lessening gradually, bringing thankful relief to his overheated systems. "Ti-fa?" He said brokenly, coming to the perception that he was lying on his side in the hallway.

Tifa sighed in momentary contentment as recognition flickered in the ex-SOLDIER's eyes and felt his head again. His fever had broken and his pulse and breathing had slowed. But she knew there was something she had to ask him. "Denzel, go back to bed." She instructed as she stooped down to sling Cloud's bloody arm over her shoulder. Cloud struggled to rise, his boots slipping on the puddles of liquid puss on the floor, but Tifa held him up, grunting slightly at his weight.

"Why?" Denzel challenged, walking up to the burdened martial artist, a defiant light in his eyes. Tifa sighed; that light in his eyes had definitely been learned from Cloud, something she wasn't ready for just yet.

"Just go," She told him wearily. "Cloud has some explaining to do." Leaving Denzel, she guided the staggering Cloud to their room once more. She gently sat him down; he seemed to be over his Geostigma attack. He kept his eyes downcast, obviously knowing he was in for it. Tifa narrowed her eyes and after a moment longer, broke the silence. "So, why'd you hide it?" Her voice was flat, toneless as she stared down the blonde. He didn't answer. "Answer me, Cloud." She said sharply, and she heard him exhale tiredly.

"There was nothing I could do." Tifa raised an eyebrow. "I thought I could handle it."

"So this has happened before?" Tifa demanded accusingly, her tone hurt. She took his silence as an unspoken affirmation of her suspicions. She stamped her foot in frustration and glared at him. "Darn it, Cloud! I can't believe you!" The brunette exclaimed. "You hide something this big from us, and who knows what else you might be covering up." Cloud set his jaw as she went on with her angry diatribe. "What made you think you had the right to do this? You could've infected me, or the kids! What about Denzel and Marlene?"

Cloud stood up so suddenly, his eyes as hard as tempered steel, that Tifa took a step back. "You think I had a choice?" He didn't shout, but his iron-edged tone expelled any question of his anger. "I had to either hide it or leave."

"Maybe you should leave!" Tifa spat in defiance, watching surprise flair up in his eyes. "Since you can't seem to care about anyone but yourself." The silence that came over them now was tense and alive with hostility.

"Maybe I should." He replied icily, and Tifa immediately regretted her words spoken in irritation as Cloud turned and walked towards the door.

"Cloud…" She began as he turned the knob and opened it, and his eyes widened a little to see both Denzel and Marlene standing there, no doubt eavesdropping on their conversation.

"A-are you going to die, Cloud?" Marlene whimpered, her eyes welling up with tears; Denzel wouldn't even meet his eyes. Marlene rushed forward and wrapped her arms around Cloud's waist and pressed her face into his stomach, ignoring the stains on his vest. "Don't you dare leave, Cloud!" She demanded, squeezing him tightly, as her young mind wasn't able to grasp the extent of the issue. "I'll miss you." Her voice was scared and hurt, afraid she might lose another father. Cloud's gaze shifted from one orphan to the other, conflicting emotions waging was inside his head.

Abandon them or infect them? If he stayed and they did catch his stigma, it would be sentencing them to death. He would never be able to forgive himself. He placed a gloved hand on Marlene's head, his beautiful sky blue eyes shimmering with sadness. "I have to go, Marlene. Nothing's going to stop me from dying and I don't want to put your lives at risk. Understand?" His voice was soft as the little girl raised her head up.

"I guess so…" She trailed off, her dejected tone breaking Cloud's heart.

"Hey," He said gently, his eyes softening as he knelt down in front of her, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. "You're a family. You have to stay together even when I'm gone."

"But it's not fair!" Marlene pouted. "You're a part of our family too!" To hear her say that brought both pride and a cold feeling off loss on him.

"Not anymore." He said quietly, knowing full well that Tifa was hearing everything from the doorway. He felt his heart hitch with guilt as he had to rip the words out of himself, keeping his head down as he walked down the stairs. Cloud felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he tried to shut out Marlene's hysterical sobs from upstairs and Denzel's efforts to comfort her.

The polished, sleek surface of Fenrir gleamed in the low light as Cloud prepped the motorbike, brushing his hand past his eyes to catch the first few tears that had formed. He hit the ignition and Fenrir's powerful engine purred up the scale in a smooth, mechanical melody. Gripping the handlebars tighter than normal as the engine growled like a caged animal, Cloud slid his goggles over his eyes. He just made out a voice calling his name and looked up to see Tifa hurrying over to his bike, stiffening as she placed a firm hand on his forearm.

He shut off the engine and pushed his goggles up into his spiky golden-blonde hair, looking down at Fenrir's handlebars as Tifa began to speak. "Cloud, up there I lost my temper and said a few things I shouldn't have. You should've seen Marlene's face after you left; she's brokenhearted and worried sick about you." She gently squeezed his wrist and went on. "Don't run. Let's fight it together. We can find a cure, I know we can." She desperately searched Cloud's emotionless face for a sign that her words had made any impact.

Tifa tried a different approach. "I know Denzel and Marlene will want to help us." She ran her hand up his arm, feeling his tensed muscles quivering with the effort to keep it together. "They love you." She was playing her trump card; if this didn't work nothing would. "Don't you love them?" Cloud kept his eyes down as he weighed the question carefully.

Without warning he jerked his head up and spoke in such a cold way that is sent a chill down Tifa's spine. "Apparently not." The racing goggles came down and he gunned the engines twice before roaring off down the street, the black surface of the Fenrir shimmering in the faint light of the moon. Tifa watched as Cloud's black-clad form melted into the distance, only the ferocious sound of Fenrir's engine fading into the moor lingering in the air. Then he was gone, swallowed up by the night.

----------------

It had been a week since Cloud had left. Tifa sighed and looked out the window down the street, hoping, like each of the days before, that Cloud's large black Fenrir would roll into view. But, like each of the days before, she hoped in vain. Tearing herself away from the window, she let her mind wander into the events of the past week as she made her way downstairs. The night Cloud had left, she and Denzel could barely get Marlene to calm down. There had been a noticeable difference in their demeanors afterwards; Denzel tired to be strong and hide the whole ordeal under a mask of apathy, something he had also learned from Cloud, but it was easy to see through his bluff to his confusion. Marlene was a different matter, however. She didn't even want to talk to Tifa since she believed that the martial artist had driven Cloud away.

Disheartened, Tifa glanced at her desk, eyes coming to rest on the picture there. She walked up to it and held it up. Denzel and Marlene were in the foreground, grinning broadly, their eyes alight with laughter. Tifa herself was standing next to Cloud, smiling as well, and then her eyes wandered over to Cloud's stoic figure. It had taken them quite a while to get him to stand still long enough to take the picture and he was the only one not smiling. Rather, a slightly bemused look had crossed as he stared at the camera; she could tell from his rigid pose that he had been unfamiliar with the whole aspect of a group picture.

Tifa smiled wistfully at the memory, realizing that she had never before studied the picture this intently before. Her smile faded as she set it down on the desk, the flashing message light on her phone catching her attention; it dawned on her that is was the beginning of the business week. She almost couldn't bring herself pick up the receiver and listen to the messages, but she knew she had to. Half-heartedly she listened to them, the orders and even a message from Yuffie droned by, Tifa barely hearing any of them. The last message came and Tifa almost dropped the phone in shock, her heartbeat quickening.

It couldn't be… but it was. Cloud's voice. On the other line. He never answered his phone, but to call her and to actually leave a message? Either his seizure had knocked a few screws loose or he had something very important to say. "Tifa," he began unsurely, his voice clearly giving away the fact that he was totally unused to this kind of communication. She gripped the phone closer as his next words came. "I don't think I handled things well, running away like that instead of facing my problems." He was mumbling, his tone thick with guilt and embarrassment, but he pressed on regardless. "I should have told you about the stigma before but instead I was stupid and angry."

The message halted as Cloud had sighed. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry." Tifa stifled a gasp. "I can't be around Denzel and Marlene right now, and I don't think I'd be brave enough to face you after how I acted. I just…. I need to be alone right now." No more words came after that and Tifa was left speechless. She just stood there, holding the mute receiver to her ear, unbelief shocking her to a standstill. He had actually said that, and meant it, to her? Fumbling, she began to put the phone down when Cloud's voice came again.

"Thank you for believing in me, Tifa." A knowing smile creased her face. He had purposely paused in case one of the kids had been messing with the phone; they would've hung up by now. Cloud indented this part only for her. "You didn't give up on me," his voice shook a bit at this part. "Even when I wanted to lie down and die." His voice was barely a whisper now "Thank you."

Then she heard the tell tale click of a phone closing and knew he had said all he had intended to.


End file.
